Monday, April 26, 2010
Walls
Recently I had the opportunity to let go of some long held...thoughts I guess you could say. It was harder than I thought to trust somebody beyond the superficial. It felt amazing to let some of it go, but it is sooo hard to break down some of these walls that I've built down over the last few years. I've found walls that i didn't even know I had. It's frightening to be that vulnerable with people, even if they are really good friends. I think my deepest fear is once I let anyone get close enough to see how damaged I really am they'll leave. I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with that type of rejection. I've dealt with so much on the surface that I'm afraid that rejection will completely break me. How do I know that I can trust someone that implicitly? A majority of people have proven that they can't be trusted. They've either broken my trust directly or proven themselves untrustworthy indirectly. When there is so much manipulation and distrust in the world how do you let someone past the walls?
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