Saturday, October 23, 2010

Good grief I didn't realize how long it's been since I last posted. Things have been hectic here to say the least. and while things have been good on the outside, things have not been so inside. Since I don't have any followers, I don't really have to worry about any this getting around to the people I know.

I miss being me. I miss being the girl that sat at the lunch table by herself and just read books. I know that sounds terribly depressing but it's true. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. But I don't really feel comfortable telling them anything. In a circle like ours, things spread like wildfire and there are things that not everyone needs to know. I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I'm part of the group but not really a part. People need me when things falls apart but that's about it. When people are having problems is the only time they think to contact me. I guess in my increasingly cynical and pessimistic view of the world I still hold a sliver of the ideal. Why? I don't know.

I guess I could have written a smiley, happy post but I promised myself that if I wasn't honest anywhere else I would be here. No pretending here. Not like in life. Just the truth.