Pain......

So I figured I would write about something that's difficult to put into words: Pain.

Yeah, we all know how it feels, but usually we are at a lost for words when it comes to telling someone else about it. That's pretty ironic, considering that there are at least 20 different words to say pain. There's anguish, ache, agony, hurt.....you get the picture. The thing is each of these words paint a different picture, a different aspect or angle of pain.

Right now there is so much pain around me. It's not necessarily my pain, but the pain of others. This type of pain is felt more acutely by the heart. There's the pain of heartbreak, of disappointment, of causing pain to someone else. I wish I could take the pain of the people around me and sometimes I think I do without realizing it. At least a little of it. Mix that in with pain of my own and life seems a little bleak. It feels like all the happiness has gone out of the world and my job is to bring it back even though I don't feel it myself. As long as others around me are happy...right? The problem with that is that I wish someone would ask once in a while if I'm ok. Not happy. Just ok. Because right now, I'm not ok. The funny thing is no one can see it because they are wrapped in their own cocoon of pain or anguish or hurt. I've always been the one to smile and make others laugh when they're down, but the other day I found myself trying to make myself laugh so I wouldn't worry a friend. You know that you've reached the ultimate in masochistic behavior when you're hurting, but you're so afraid of worrying those around you that you hide it.